Toddler Strategies: Mittens

One of the hardest parts of my winters is getting mittens onto the chubby delicious hands of Toddlers. Their hands are small, squishy and still dimpled, and they don't know how isolate their little stubby thumbs from other fingers. On top of that, mittens limit dexterity so Toddlers will often use any strategy they can to avoid putting them on!

How do you Normalize Putting on Winter Gear?

It's important to recognize that for Toddler's this is really their first winter... ever! Not just their first physical experience of winter, but even the idea of a winter. There will be so many new experiences and a shift towards way more clothing on, warmer foods, different activities, more indoor time, and much longer transitions to get ready for the outdoors which Toddlers generally hate. So normalizing this shift in the seasons and what shared labour is associated with each season can be helpful. You can find books about children in the winter, gather a few pairs of mittens in a basket for dress up in the playroom, sing songs, or reflect on changing weather and what it means to your everyday life, are all great strategies to prep your child for all the gear they will have to wear in the winter and normalize the experience. You can try including your child in the prep you do for the season like getting out winter gear, buying salt, getting out the shovel, or thinking about warmer foods and different places to visit.

How can you Build the Toddler's Sense of Ownership for Putting on Mittens?

The primary strategy I use in collaboration with songs, books about mittens, and games to help kiddos put on their mitten is that I verbally prep them and use verbal strategies that build a sense of ownership of their bodies.

When outside and the weather starts to get cold, I will frequently remind Toddler's that I have mittens available and their goal is to put on mittens before their hands get too cold. I will point out when their hands are getting red, that I am wearing mittens and my hands are feeling good, and I will comment when my hands hurt from the cold "ooh, we should all put on mittens my hands are so cold!" while pointing out other people who are also wearing mittens. I will remind them that they are their hands, not mine, and while I can help them keep their hands feeling warm, they have to help me do it. For some Toddlers, the conversation is enough, for most toddlers their hands getting a little cold and red is enough, for others they have to experience the cold hurting before they will take ownership of wearings mittens. This does not mean that I suggest subjecting your child to frostbite, if you are living in a very cold climate and have a very very willful Toddler, you probably want to buy snowsuits with hand covers and just avoid the power struggle entirely.

I am always sympathetic when anyone's body is hurting. So when a Toddler continues to resist putting on mitten and their hands get too cold I will rub their hands and put them on my warm cheeks while I remind them that it is their body and we work together to keep it safe. I will remind them that I kept offering them mitts and they said no. I will teach them strategies like swinging their arms, or clasping their hands but once a Toddler gets upset because their hands are hurt, I am on higher alert, I want to avoid it happening again. This is when I begin to remind them over and over and over again before we go outside, and when we go outside how much their hands hurt when they didn't wear mitts. I continue to point out when their hands are getting red and how they can prevent their hands from hurting.

My experience has been that when I only take ownership of providing mittens and helping them put them while building the Toddler capacity for making informed choice and a want to helping me keep them safe does Toddlers' putting on mittens become routine and easy. By supporting the Toddlers in listening to their bodies they build a sense of personal accountability which removes power from the situation. Instead of me using power to force mittens on, they are using their power to keep their bodies feeling good and safe.

How do you Help Toddlers Isolate their Thumbs

Along with cooperation, I find one of the trickiest parts putting mittens on Toddler's is getting their thumbs in the thumb hole! Sometimes we play thumbs up and thumb wars before mitten season so that they are ready to stick them out! A great poem a former colleague taught me that you can sing is "Thumb in the thumb hole, fingers go together, this is the song I sing in winter weather". This poem is super fun, but without support Toddlers tend to just stick out any finger!

This year a friend sent me a video of her Toddler singing the family finger song with the names of his favourite animals, parents and grandparents, and it clicked how useful this song would be for helping kiddos stick out their thumbs. Rather than simply support a heteronormative family perspective, the Toddlers I am working with and I labeled their fingers after their parents and loved ones, sometimes including an Emma finger. The thumb became a beloved parent and quickly the Toddlers were able to identify their thumb and stick it out!

Otherwise silly finger play games like "Two little birdies," giving thumbs up, or playing thumb war can help Toddlers learn to stick their thumbs up.

What are Good Toddler Mittens?

In my experience having multiple pairs of dollar store magic mittens of different thickness are the best mittens for toddlers. They need to be loose enough that you can stick your pointer finger inside to hook their thumbs and pull them into the thumb hole, but tight enough they don't fall off. The thinner mittens provide the Toddler with a lot of dexterity so they are usually happy to put them on because they don't limit their play (except climbing playground equipment, they are slippery). They are great for spring and fall. The thicker longer mittens tend to keep Toddlers quite warm and they are easy to stuff into a sleeve, making it impossible for the Toddler to take them off. In my experience having mittens that once they are on cannot be taken off without help is key (unless of course you have a kiddo who can put on mittens independently). I have yet to find any waterproof Toddler mittens that are easy to put on, stay on, and the kiddos feel comfortable in, so I usually bring a few pairs of mittens on snowy or wet days and switch them up.

Is there One Strategy That Will Work for Everyone?

These strategies were developed and used with smaller groups of Toddlers. They were also developed in the context of a caregiver and Toddler relationship which can be very different from that shared between a parent and Toddler. When I worked with larger groups of Toddlers, we always put their mittens on before we got outside and made sure they were waterproof so that we could support so many bodies moving in so many ways. There wasn't time to be changing mittens. In my current context, where I am taking Toddlers to parks and exploring neighbourhoods, kiddos being able to grip and use their hands is integral to our ability to explore safely. I think it's important that whenever you think about using a strategy always reflect on your context, capacity, and who you and your child are. Most strategies will need to evolve and be adapted in order to work in your particular context.

A Final Reminder

I find the most helpful thing to remember when you are wrestling a screaming toddler into a pair of mittens is that it doesn't last forever! THIS TOO SHALL PASS. By the time kiddos are 3 years old their bodies and coordination have developed to make dressing and playing in the winter more enjoyable. At 3 their ability to regulate impulses means they are better able to help dress themselves and be more cooperative. Trust me, it gets easier.